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A Picture Speaks a Thousand Words!

做个心中有爱的人

有关爱情婚姻 2

September 1st, 2011 Filed under: HappyReading, LessonsOfLife, PraiseLord by luna

昨天在“有关爱情婚姻”里讲到饶恕。 其实饶恕一个人并不容易,多数是因为你原本就认为自己没有什么错误,而对方可能是那个让你咬牙切齿的人。 但上帝从没有让我们走一条easy way. “事实上这可能是最难走的一条路,需要忍耐再忍耐,天天克服极大的痛苦, 且要坚持努力不让自己陷入愤恨心酸。” 书中提到几点如何饶恕的办法:

1. 承认: 有时候愤恨的情绪潜入心里,而我们仍不自知。 不饶恕的心态非常微妙,不易察觉,所以我们应该定期审查己心。
2. 了解: 了解我们每个人都会犯错,别人也需要我们饶恕的温暖。 这点最重要的是我们要依靠上帝的能力去饶恕。
3. 放开: 想象你提着沉重的桶子-装满对丈夫的失望,委屈,和他犯的错。 现在你要把桶子丢掉大海中。 本来你就不应该天天提着它。
4. 重新设定: 当沉甸甸的桶子扔进饶恕的汪洋大海,就必须将夫妻关系重新设定到新婚状态。 对他说话的方式要改变,要弥补他的不足,要鼓励他,造就他,帮助他成为合神心意的人。 给他祝福,不要咒诅。 光用嘴巴讲饶恕没有行动是不会有好处的。
5. 承担责任: 帮助丈夫,以你的爱与饶恕引导,陪伴他走过更新复原之路。这是做妻子的责任。

心理学家John Gottman做过一个研究从中得出结论:“幸福美满的夫妻并没有比别的夫妻更聪明,更有钱,也不是比较敏锐精明; 而是他们在每天生活中都能尽力不让负面的想法和感觉(每对夫妻都会有)影响婚姻。” 换句话说,他们选择多往好的一面看,尽量少看不好的那一面。

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有关爱情婚姻

August 31st, 2011 Filed under: HappyReading, LessonsOfLife, PraiseLord by luna

在我20岁前梦想着一个“白马王子”,他爱我,疼我,哄我,一切以我为中心。 只要我找到他,我就会幸福一生。 可是经历了一些蹉跎岁月后,我慢慢明白“爱”不是他爱我,而是要我先去爱他。

最近读了一本书叫“The Power of a Positive Wife” (中文名“才德贤妻百分百”)by Karol Ladd. 这本书我今日读完。意义匪浅! 我必须跟大家一起分享,因为作者的观念我都非常认同。 我觉得如果你用心去读的话或多或少都会有些帮助或启发。

“真爱并非靠‘发现’, 而是要创造出来。 真爱是天天选择爱另一半,在每天的选择当中,真爱便萌发而成长。”

选择爱并不一定很容易。 耶稣可没说,“去爱那些容易爱的人,当那人变得很难去爱,就可以放弃。” 相反, 他的信息是: 就算不容易,也要彼此相爱

作者分享了几点如何能让婚姻中的你幸福起来:

1. 不要老是想到自己

如果我老是想到“我,我的,我自己”,只把焦点摆在自己身上, 几乎一定会令自己失望! 作为基督徒,我们的焦点应该是上帝的身上。 作者的答案是:好妻子处方中最重要的成分,就是以神为中心(不是以丈夫为中心)。

2. 全心全意去爱别人,服事别人,原谅别人

最能提振自我价值的良药,莫过于适当地去爱别人。 当你主动而真诚地爱周遭的人,就会越来越坚强。

3. 想想你的生活方式

很多时候我们觉得自己很差劲多半是因为我们在某种程度上没有顺服神和他的诫命。 唯有顺服神才能得到丰富的喜乐。

4. 晓得神创造你,爱你,且一直在你身上作工

要相信主已经为你计划好了积极的方向。

有人说,我和另一半已经不再相爱了。 其实当有人说“不再相爱”,意思是“我再也不愿意努力去爱你了,我宁愿按照我喜欢的,找一个能让我快乐的人”。 问题是,你大概找不到一个容易爱的人。 当然有些人比较好相处, 但即是人就有缺点。 能超越对方弱点的爱,才是真爱,真爱才能历久弥坚。 正如经文所说“凡事包容,凡事相信, 凡事盼望,凡事忍耐。”

有人说, “人若不是越来越愁苦,就是越过越好。” 真话是真的。 马丁.路德说过,“两个懂得饶恕的人结为连理,就是幸福美满的婚姻。” 所以说饶恕是KEY。 字典里说,“饶恕就是放弃憎恶或想惩罚的欲望; 不再生气;宽恕; 放弃一切惩罚对方的念头。” 换句话说,纵使觉得自己有权利生气怀怨,也要放下这权利而选择饶恕。

饶恕不只是意志力,更是心态; 不是一次就够,而是要坚持不断。 我们每个人都必须学会去饶恕别人。 怀怨会使我们一直活在过去,而饶恕的爱会让我们活在当下, 继续向前,活出丰盛得胜的生命。

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中国玫瑰

September 30th, 2010 Filed under: HappyReading, Today'sGoogle by luna


Today’s Google

又读完一本小说.

具体地说是一本网络小说, “中国玫瑰“(估计迟早会出版), 是朋友强力推荐的. 按习惯我是从不在电脑上看小说的–费眼. 记得第一次读网络小说是在大学其间. 读得是”蓝宇”. 当时我看连载的时候”蓝宇”叫”北京故事”. 后来再看网络小说就通通用school computer lab里的打印机打出来看了. 一转眼十年了.

刚开始我有点拒绝读”中国玫瑰”. 主要是因为我从来不上wenxuecity.com. 朋友给了个LINK不太会用, 好不容易会用了, 发现好多章都不完整. 把抱怨都说给朋友后, 她又耐心教我另一个办法… 也就是我放的连接. 不到一天时间我就都读完了. 看后我学会好几句上海话. 对上海人有更深刻的理解, 没有好与不好, 只有环境和特定的情况. 这本书要比”山楂树之恋”阳光很多, 幽默很多, 轻松很多, 结尾简直是180度的异样. 读后让人感觉生活还是会苦尽甘来过后想想心中是暖暖的很欣慰. 还有就是, 这本书讲得就是我们这个年代的喜怒哀乐. 非常推荐给70后或桑海宁读.

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